Ubiquitous 19 Nov 2014 Sheesh! "Bobby Flay" this and "Mario Batali" that. Blah blah blah. A more proper title for this episode would have been "Semi-Homade Name-Dropping (because Gawd knows I cannot cook a damn thing)"! Boy would I have floved to have been at the FN execs meeting with Bobby and Mario when they were told they had to allow Sandie crap up some of their recipes and "take one for the team" in some half-baked scheme to make her look marginally credible as a "Food Network 'chef'". Has anyone taken the time to count how many times she engaged in name-dropping this week? Anyhow, on with the show! "Hi, I'm Sandra Lee and welcome to Semi-Homemade. Today is a great day because my friends Mario Batali and Bobby Flay have been kind enough to share with me their famous, gourmet restaurant recipes, but I've re-made them for you the Semi-Homemade way, so they're gonna be quick and easy." But how will they taste? SLop ignores my query and rattles off her menu of Bobby Flay and Mario Batali knock-offs before we bounce into the opening credits. *sigh* I miss the previous music they used. SLop enters stage left, telling us "Every time I go to Mario Batali's restaurant I order his White Bean Ravioli". Of course, being SLop, she makes her own version from a can of beans mixed with balsamic vinegarette and a teaspoon of a packet of Italian seasoning that is pulsed in a food processor (properly this time) and put in wonton wrappers and boiled. As she makes the accompanying sauce, SLop claims to have been in Mario's kitchen. Yeah, right. I see another restraining order coming down the pipeline...As SLop stuffs her face with the finished product, SLop thanks Mario Batali. As SLop begins to make the steak, she says "Now, if Bobby Flay was making this, he would make it all from scratch, but I have some great tips for you to get these dinners in and out or these dishes in and out of the kitchen in no time." But how does it taste, SLop? Ignoring my query, she mixes some wine and a packet of Zesty Herb marinade in a ziplock Glad bag while announcing "Of course, Bobby would use all the fancy stuff, but I need somethin' quick and easy with everything in one package!" Yeah, right. Just as good as Bobby Flay's. SLop ensures Brycer's position as the most beat up kid in America this week by announcing that Bobby Flay is his idol and has been begging her to let him meet Bobby Flay. Unfortunately, there's that restraining order monkey business so he'll have to settle for cooking these recipe rip-offs with her. As the steaks cook on the indoor grill, SLop announces she's going to make Bobby Flay's Roasted Corn Salad, adding "Bobby Flay makes this with roasted corn on the cob, so I'm going to grill a bag of frozen corn in a frying pan!" As the corn defrosts, she mixes some yellow-colored lime juice, vegtable oil, and roasted salsa in a bowl. She cuts off a quarter of a red bell pepper and juliannes it, putting the rest away for later. SLop then slices up some green onions but stops at the white part because "the white part of these onions tastes very onion-y and I don't like that flllllavor very much" and throws them away. Huh? She then dumps the reheated corn from the pan into the bowl, assuring us that even the most picky kid will like it and adds the red pepper slices. Returning from commercial, SLop declares "I have some fabulous remakes from Bobby Flay and Mario Batali!!!" and begins working on Mario Batali's Dried Fruit Compote with Goat Cheese after removing the Bobby Flay red wine steaks from the glad bag in which it's been marinating and cooking them crooked on the grill. SLop tells us that Mario Batali might use a GALLON of port wine in his recipe but she's in a hurry! Time's a wasting! When's Cocktail Time? SLop heats up the wine, then adds some sugar. SLop tells us that "Mario Batali probably uses fresh fruit for his [dried fruit] compote but I'm going to use trail mix!", then tells us she uses white grapejuice in lieu of port for Brycer (won't that make it less menstral?), thoughtfully recomending that we substitute these for raisins. After letting it simmer for five minutes, the dried fruit plumped up, making it resemble a black menstral clump. SLop spoons it into a martini glass, tops it with some crumbled goat cheese, and declares it a healthy desert snack for kids. Returning to the steak like Bobby Flay makes, she tells us to let it rest so it doesn't spill juice all over the place, adding "This is a gourmet dinner just like if you went to Bobby Flay or Mario Batali's place!". When we return from commercial, SLop enters stage left clutching a bottle of wine and giddily announces "It's cocktail time! Best time of the day!", but sadly, there is no accompanying pop-up graphic. SLop slurs that she's going to make Bobby Flay's famous Mangled Peach Sangria, which consists of one cup of frozen of mango in liue of ice, one cup frozen peaches, one cup peach schnaaps (peach nector for Brycer), two cups of mango nectar, and "for Aunt Sandy, a bottle of white wine" (sugar-free lemon-lime soda for Brycer). She tells us to leave it in the fridge so the flavours meld together, but she can't wait so she begins guzzling it on the spot, declaring "Mmm...That is one good sangria, Bobby Flay!" Clutching a big glass of Bobby Flay's famous Mangled Peach Sangria, SLop tells us this week's tablescape was inspired by the rich, amber tones and beautiful milk chocolate in Mario Batali's restaurant and the oranges and yellows of Bobby Flay's. The centerpiece consists of four noseagays in a vase with brown sugar. For each setting, SLop printed name cards on her PC and tied a copper measuring spoon to it with a sweet knotted fishtail ribbon (Hmm, looks like a forked tongue, heh heh) So once again, SLop unloads a bunch of crappy "party favors" on her unsuspecting guests. Among the imaginary guests of honor were "io". Hmm. Yeah, I'm sure he'd be thrilled to have one of those lame gifts of yours.